SnowLeopard on the quiet prowl

2002-08-28T19:42:00.000-04:00

08.28.02
7:41 PM EDT

I've really been neglecting my blog. Just so all my loyal readers (they do exist, heoretically) don't worry, I wasn't sick, injured, abducted by aliens or anything like that. Just haven't felt much like posting here. I'll be back at it soon. Yeah, that's it, soon . . .

2002-08-18T19:17:00.000-04:00

08.18.2002
07:00 PM EDT

Wow . . . 5 days since I posted here . . .

Anyway, I went to Mohegan Sun last night. Casinos are fun places, even if you don't gamble. Mohegan Sun is more of a phenomenon than a casino, anyway. Last fall they opened up a gigantic new section (alon with a hotel, etc.), which is essentially a casino plopped down in the middle of a shopping mall. The theoy I suppose is that the non-gamblers can busy thmselves shopping while the gamblers gamble. Judging by the crowds at the tables and in the stores and restaurants, I'd say it's working. It was at least a 45 minute wait to eat, even at the nondescript little places.

By the way, if you find yourself at or near Mohegan Sun, and are a foodie, check out Rain and or Todd English's Tuscany in the casino. Both of these have gotten some pretty good reviews. But be warned: Like Crazy Eddie, their prices are IN-SANE . . . as in insanely high.

It was a fun trip . . . I won a little bit, as did my firends, so no one went home unhappy.

OK. Another week of hellishly hot and humid weather. Supposedly there is a front coming through (right about now, actually, according to the forecast), after which the weather is supposed to be noticeable moe comfortable. I certainly hope so, but the weather folks this summer keep predicting these ffronts and the accompanying storms and more and often than not they haven't panned out.

This weather is no good for blogging . . . I've got no energy to type or think.

I'm listening to the updated weather forecast . . . . the weather person is now saying "isolated" showers/thundershowers, skillfully backing down from their earlier predictions of strong winds, hail, and torrential downpours. The cooler and less humid weather is spposedly still on the way. We'll see.

2002-08-13T20:37:00.000-04:00

08.13.2002
8:02 PM EDT

ITEMS:
--USAir files for bankruptcy
--United may be next
--American lays off 7,000

What's going on here? Obviously the airlines are doing terribly since 9.11, and the economy is sluggish, business travel is down, people are taking close-to-home vacations, etc.

But there's a lot more to it than that.

A friend of mine has a theory that all busniesses based on moving people across significant distances eventually fail. Coaches gave way to trains, trains gave way to private cars and airplanes. Cruise ships, too, fell victim to the airplane.

Along those lines, consider this: Long-distance air travel became viable, when? The 1940s, or so? One could argue that airlines only made consistent money while oil prices were historically very very low. As soon as the first oil price shock hit in 1973, the airlines have never been the same, and have in one way or another struggled to make a go of it. There were other complicating factors, of course. Labor costs went up also. The airlines got some relief from deregulation, which theroetically allowed them to reduce some costs, but long term, the price of oil dangles over their heads like the sword of Damocles, constantly. An event like 9.11 and and economic slump are more than enough to send a couple of airlines out of business.

What this means is that, quite possibly, the business of transporting people by airplane is not economically viable in the post-1973 world. National airlines are heavily subsidized in other countires, suggesting that acorss the world, it may not be possible to run an airline and break even without charging fares that people feel are too high to
pay.

What's to be done about this?

First, there are most likely too many airlines in the US. The airlines that are making money are the so-called no-frills carriers, who stick to profitable routes and keep their costs down. The full-service airlines (full-service is a cruel joke to ayone who's ever flown on a major US airline in hte last few years) can't complete for business on those routes, so they are largely left with a lot of routes that are not nearly as profitable. Some major airlines will most likely have to go under -- they won't get bought by other carriers, becasue who's healthy enough to buy them? [A few years ago, another airline could've used the infalted value of its stock to purchase a rival without using any actual money . . . those days are over, with a vengance.]

The survivors will have to extract even more concessions from their unionized work forces, and hope like hell that oil prices don't spike. The unions will most likely not be amenable to more givebacks, but their options they be severely limited.

Case in point: United is trying to get the government to issue it $1.8 billion in loan guarantees. The government, to its credit, has told United that it must lower its cost basis more before the loan guarnatee will be apporved. This means more concessions form the unions. United has thus far been unable to get the machinists and flight attendants unions to agree. If they don't gree, United will more than likely file for bankruptcy, also. If that happens, the United that emerges from backruptcy will be much smaller. The unions are looking at more concessions, or a lot fewer members.

But that's just a band-aid anyway. The inherent problems in the business will always be there. And I don't see corporate travel budgets getting increased (or even holding steady) any time soon.

It would help if Washingon had a clue, also. A couple of years back, some airline executives were testifying before Congress. A legislator from North Dakota started lecutring them about following "market forces" and not always relying on the government for help.

One of airline executives, as politely as he could, pointed out to the Senator that if "market forces" were allowed to take their course, no airline would have any flights into or out of North Dakota, since no one could possibly make a profit doing so. Which gets us back to a subsidized national airline(s). Good idea? I tend to think not, but if an industry is not economically viable, and we deem it important enough that a person who lives in Fargo should have access to air travel the same way a person in New York does . . . then what's the alternative?

What could save the airline industry as we know it? Precious little, I'm afraid. Some sort of technological miracle that makes airlines engines 1000% more efficient than they already are, perhaps. But that doesn't seem too likely. . . .

2002-08-09T21:05:00.000-04:00

08.09.2002
8:45 PM EDT

Things that really annoy me: (partial list).

--Workaholics. The actual number of days in my working life that I truly haven't been able to finish my work in a normal working day I can count on one hand (and no, I don't work low-level type jobs). Why do people work so many hours? It's mostly "face time." Let's face it, most people's jobs aren't nearly as important as people (or people's bosses) like to think they are, titles aside. When someone complains about how many hours they're working, I'm thinking "learn to be more productive and prioritize better." I think a lot of people are afriad to have a life outside of work, or perhaps don't want extra time to think about not having a life outside of work.

--Bitter people. I have tried, but I honestly don't understand that emotion. I thank my lucky stars that I don't.

--Busybodies. From your neighbor to the church to John Ashcroft. MYOFB!

--Script kiddies. It takes soooo much talent to download a port scanner and run it against a million IP addresses.

--Network TV programmers. Unoriginal, uninspired, untalented purveyors of "comedy" that isn't funny, "reality" shows that bear no resemblance to reality [not that anyone would want to watch "reality" anyway], and "dramas" that by and large are devoid of any actual drama. "The Sopranos" isn't great, but it's so much better than typical network fare that people flock to it.

--The recording industry. But that' a long rant for another day.

There. I feel better now. Sort of.

2002-08-07T19:46:00.000-04:00

08.07.2002
07:25 PM EDT

All right . . . the spammers were working overtime today -- 92 spams. That may be a one-day record for me. Best subject line: "LIVE! PROBING DILDO CAM!"

But not a one from the mad vrius bomber. Even malicious geeks have to have a day off now and then, I suppose.

Speaking of spam . . . from people I"ve talked to, job-hunting sites are a prime source of spam. It makes sense. Since you're always going to enter legitimate information when you register at a job board, their mailing lists I'm sure fetch premium prices from advertisers. I talked to one guy whose wife subscribed to 20 job sites. They now receive between 300 and 400 spams daily.

Message for LadyS: Sis, You said You figured out how to use the tag board . . . but then didn't leave a message there!

Funny dating experiences: Once, in college, I was driving this girl (who I was not involved with at the time, yet) back to campus from a concert and I actually ran out of gas. How lame is that? I was falling all over myself, apologizing, since I figured that the girl would be thinking that l truly must be either a complete loser or trying to pull the oldest make-out stunt of all time. In truth, it was the former . . . I always used to cut it pretty close with the gas, money not exactly being readily available at all times.

Anyway, all's well that ended well. I managed to get the car onto the campus property, and into a parking space of sorts, even. And we had a nice walk (slow walk, it was pitch black outside) back to the dorms. And things actually went well after that. She thought it was funny that I ran out of gas. So we had a good laugh and it was actually the start of a great relationship. Which brings me to a good rule of dating:

When you do something stupid, but harmless, and the other person laughs, really laughs with you, not at you, and makes it a fun thing . . . you've found a keeper.

Another random thought: Ever been invited to a wedding where you've slept with the bride or groom (or even both?). It happened to me once. The bride-to-be was a girl I'd had a short but intense relationship with. Thank goodness I had some sense and didn't go. But I'd like to hear from others who maybe did go the wedding . . . how did it feel? Was it weird beyond belief? Did anything happen? Inquiring minds want to know . . .

2002-08-06T19:26:00.000-04:00

08.06.2002
06:55 PM EDT

ITEM -- Pentagon scrambles to do damage control after report charges that Saudi Arabia is heavily involved in supporting terrorism.

The report, by the Defense Policy Board, a think tank that advises the Pentagon, asserts that "The Saudis are active at every level of the terror chain, from planners to financiers, from cadre to foot-soldier, from ideologist to cheerleader."

The Defensa Deaprtment countered with this gem: "Saudi Arabia is a long-standing friend and ally of the United States. The Saudis cooperate fully in the global war on terrorism and have the department's and administration's deep appreciation."

All this puts the Admnistration in a touchy spot. We have to keep the world's gas station open. In return, the Saudis give lip service to fighting terrorism., but in reality, one wonders how much they really do. The problem for the Saudi royal family is that their grip on power is tenuous. The vast majority of the population they rule supports Islamic fundmaentalism, anti-Americansm included. Saudi Arabia's oil production facilities are vulnerable, and they have to count on the US to step in if anything should ever happen.

The think tank report used some surprisingly strong language, indicating that the US should "target Saudi oil fields and financial assets" if the Saudis don't start doing more against terrorism. Yowzer. The Saudis dismissed the report publicly, no doubt calling Bush real fast on the red phone and giving him an earful. I hope Bush told them "it's a free country, get over it," but somehow I doubt that's how the conversation went.

2002-08-04T20:40:00.000-04:00

08.04.2002
8:16 PM EDT

Some random thoughts for a Sunday night.

1. How should the first anniversary of 9.11 be observed? I for one favor the national holiday route, but corporate interests will never go for that idea, and lord knows they get a pretty good hearing in the Bush Wite House. One recalls the stiff opposition to granting Martin Lutehr King Day . . .

Anyway, what are people's thougts about this? Or, how will you personally observe it, if at all?

2. I am making a proclamation. Since this is the net, and on the net everything is true, I proclaim the following:

-- Any blog which includes more than two (2) links to personality quizzes is hereby proclaimed LAME. It was fun and cute, sort of, a loooooong time ago. But it's way over now.

The quizzes in question are those "what character from ------- are you?" and "what kind of --------are you?" I don't want to know what character from Dragonball-Z I am. I don't want to know kind of Central African climbing vine I am. Please, make them stop.

3. I read a story in the Times magazine today about Amanda Latona. Latona is a singer; her album gets released tomorrow. The article was all about how the record company and her handlers are trying to position and market her just so, in order to "create' anther Britney [in sales, if not in image -- in the course of the article it emerges that her handlers are targeting her to looks and act and sound a lot more like Pink than like Britney].

The point of the article is that Latona is a pure creation -- she is going to be what they want her to be to be successful, and she's totally on board with whatever the program entails. And we, the record buying public, pesumably, will just follow along. This ignores the essential truth of the entertainment business, namely -- if the product totally sucks, and appeals to no one, it doesn't sell. You might think that Britneyt Spears is a no-talent bimbo, but what she does appeals to enough people that it sells. Record company machinations aside, if Amanda Latona is seen as terrible by all age groups, her records will bomb, no one will go see her concerts, and that's that. Clive Davis may be a genius, but he can't get blood from a turnip.

Latona will be all right, in the end -- she has the right look to pursue a fallback career as a professional Dominatrix if the singing thing doesn't work out.

OK, I went and listened to the mp3 of the single from the amanda-latona.com. And, well . . .

It's not my cup of tea, but it's not terrible. The song is sort of pop, sort of rock. And not a great example of either, but pleasant enough. Latona, as the Times writer noted, has a strong but overly distinctive voice. At times in this song she sounds like a better-behaved Joan Jett, at times like a less mannred Shania Twain. But hse obviously can sing, and she can sound cute, and presumably sexy wita different song to sing. The song has a decent-enough hook, but again, not a great pop song like, say "Another Dumb Blonde." Lots of production stuff going on (the Times article recounts this -- the song has been worked on and tweaked more than one of Dr. Frankstein's creations).

So . . . we'll see, I"d say it's 50-50. This song has some hit potential, but I'dd be surprised if it was a mega-smash. Latona seems like a genuine, nice, if driven, girl. She may in fact make it big.

2002-08-03T09:36:00.000-04:00

08.03.2002
09:06 AM EDT

In the spirit of relentless bandwaagon-jumping, you will find to your right and down a bit, a TagBoard. This is a very cool little thing that I saw on another blog and well, just had to have on mine.

It was Edie Singleton's blog where I first saw the TagBoard. Her blog has become a must-read for me. Of late, Edie's been recounting her memorable (term used loosely) blind dates. By all means check it out.

Which brings me to the realization that I've never had a blind date. Never had a friend tell me what a "great personality" a certain girl had. Never had to later have said friend offed when the personality in question turned out not to be so great.

But, regular old non-blind dating always generates it share of funny/sad things. Come with me back through the mists of time to a dark and fearful age . . . a time of superstition and mayhem . . . the year 1975.

I had been seeing this girl, M., for a few months. I was 19, she was 22. The relationship was doomed from the start for a number of reasons, but that's something I figured out long after things had crashed and burned. But there's always that point when reality is driven home with fearsome clarity. The point at which the relatinship dies in spirit, but continues to limp along in fact and name for a while, like the terminal patient gamely discussing future events that everyone knows he will never see.

Anyway . . . I was madly in love with her at the time. The night when reality came thumping on the door was an August Friday. We were having what seemed like a normal dinner, talking about nothing in particular. I had been relating to her the story of something My mother had said to me before I'd left the house, just a few hours earlier. My mother, when hearing that I was going out with M. that night, made a bit of a face. My mother was a wonderful and sensitive woman, and hiding her emotions was not one of her strong points. I asked what was wrong and she said:

"If that girl really cared about you she'd go out with you on Saturday night, not Friday."

I smiled and shrugged and didn't lecture my mother about how quaint she was being. But I related the stroy to M, thinking we would share a little knowing laugh about the older generation and their silly retro ways. But, no. M. looked at me the way someone regards a mangled but still struggling dog on the side of freeway and said:

"A very wise woman, your mother."

A sensible man, which I wasn't at the time, would have fnished eating as quickly as was polite, paid the check, called a cab for the lady, driven my car home, called a cab for myself to take me to a the neasrest bar, cry in my beer a bit, go home, sleep it off, and wake up hung over but ulitmately happier and wiser.

But at the time my love for her was too great. So I shrugged and smiled and decided that knowing laugh about retro ways would have to be a private thing.

Needless to say, even though the rest of that night went all right, things went swiftly downhill from there.

A few years later, I got a postcard from her. Wondering what I was up to, blah blah blah, wondering if we might get together for dinner in the city some night. I read it over a couple times. I held it in my hand for a moment . . . then walked over and dropped it, watching it float into the wastebasket.

You know something, M? You were right. My mother was a very wise woman.

2002-08-02T13:16:00.000-04:00

08.02.2002
12:58 PM EDT

I actually got the archives working correctly. It's a banner day . . .

Working from home today, with CNBC on in the background. Another dismal day for the stock market, as investors apparently have decided that the recovery wasn't really in a recovery, in effect. That's what happens when economists get a whole bunch of forecasts wrong in a three-day period. As a trader on the floor said today "once again, the market was right and the economists were wrong." Well, we'll see about that . . . the market gets crazy sometimes -- economists by and large keep their emotions out of it.

ITEM -- Stanley Tools scraps Bermuda re-incorporation plan.
Stanley was going to do some paperwork, essentially, that would have saved them about $30 million a year in taxes. But in the current climate, with Congress considering a law to bar compaines who take such action from getting defense contracts, and the state of Connecitcut trying to take Stanley to court to prevent from doing so, the people running Stanley decided to shelve the idea. The increasingly irrelevant AFL-CIO opposed the move, also (surprise).

Personally, I think it was a good idea. It was legal, it would've saved the company money, and it wouldn't have meant any job loss in the US. One could actually argue that Stanley had a responsibility to its shareholders to do it. But all's well that ends well. Washington, Hartford, and the AFL-CIO are all in a self-congratulatory fervor over this, the people at Stanley will apply the proper spin, so everyone can feel good about it. And doubtless corporations will noe be able to lobby for some tax cuts, in exchange for Congress getting rid of the "lopphole" that alows things like Bermuda re-incorpotation, as they will almost certinaly do in their new-found dedication to "corporate responsibility and accountability." Keep rolling that log . . .

2002-08-01T19:38:00.000-04:00

08.01.2002
7:10 PM EDT

Nice volume of spams today -- over 70. "Best" subject was "FREE! SNOBBY GIRLS GETTING HAMMERED LIVE!"

Now -- a couple of things here . . ..
1. Why would I want to see a video of snobby girls getting drunk? (That's what "hammered" means, yes?)
2. How do I know the girls in question are actually "snobby?" Have they signed an affadavit or something?

In Grand Central Station, there is one of those combo stores -- in this case Oren's Daily Roast and Ben and Jerry's. I often stop there befroe getting on the trian home for an iced coffee. On the front of the cash register there is a sign that reads:

"THESE PREMISES ARE MONITORED 24 HOURS A DAY. YOUR ACTIONS ARE BEING RECORDED."

What's the purpose of this sign? More to the point, what's the purpose of the montioring? Several theories present themselves:

1. America-hating terrorists have targetred Band and Jerry's, in an attempt to strike at our very soul by blowing up ice cream stores.
2. Being a combo store selling coffee, as ell as ice cream, this particular location is a prime terrorist target. Death to the great Satan and his double mocha lattes.
3. The company is greatly cocerned about customers taking extra napkins and straws as they leave the store.
4. And most likely the real reason -- the company is monitoring the employees. The disclaimer on the register is an attempt to absolve themselves of any liability should a customer try to take action against them from anything arising from said video monitoring of the employees.

ITEM -- Former WorldCom officers arrested on securities fraud charges. Great stuff. Nothing like seeing top executives doing the so-called "perp walk." The handcuffs are a nice touch -- I mean, these guys are only dangrous if you're a stockholder, in which case they're extremely dangerous to the value of your investement.

Thre's been some disucssion of whether the sight of these guys doing the perp walk is good for the markets -- does it restore confidence? I don't think it really does. It has a certian pooulist trailer-park appeal, surely, but those aren't the people that Bush and Company are trying to get back into the stock market. The people they're trying to sway see the perp walk and think "hmmmm . . . better stop cooking the books for a while until this blows over." Which may be as good a result as any.

ITEM -- Fla.'s Harris resigns to run for Congress Remember Katherine Harris? Florida Secretary of State, loyal Republican Party hack? I wonder how much campaign money it will take to get this loser into Congress? Answer: However much it is, they will find it somewhere. Conservatives from all over will be falling all over themselves to contribute. Plus the Democrats I"m sure will counter with a candidate with all the electability of a ham sandwich. Although . . . maybe, if she doesn't do anything about that hair . . .

2002-07-31T14:14:00.000-04:00

07.31.2002
1:58 PM EDT

Sometimes one stumbles across a gem of a movie on cable. One that I found a couple of years ago was "20 Dates."

Our hero, an aspiring filmaker, decides to make a movie that consists of, well, going out on 20 dates. His idea is to film the dates, examine the whole relationship thing, and perhaps find Ms. Right somehwere along the way. His backer in this project is a vaguely mob-connected guy, one assumes, who keeps pressuring our hero to punch up the product by going out on dates with Playboy centerfolds and Hollywood starlets. Eventually, a few dates from the magic number, he meets a girl he really hits it off with . . .

Anyway, go find it and see it. It's hilarious and at times, touching.

Speaking of movies with numbers in the title, another movie that I caught on cable, but only part of, was 200 Cigarettes. 200 Cigarettes centers around New Years Eve 1980, in NYC. The litle bits I saw of it seemed pretty good. Ben Afleck, Christina Ricci, Paul Rudd, Courtney Love.

Speaking of Cinemax, tonight at 12:30 (I'll be fast asleep) is "Sinful Obsession," Check out the synopsis:

A lusty housewife, whose aggressive approach has pushed away her husband, drifts into the business of prostitution to satisfy her cravings for passion. With Nikki Fritz, Julia Kruis, Dana Robbins.

I haven't seerrn this movie, but it sounds like a Skinemax classic. Want to guess how it ends? The prostitution endeavor ends badly, ether because the woman falls in love with a john (most likely a handsome, unattainable, darkly sexual CEO type), or becasue she enounters a demented psycho-killer type and narrowly escpaes with her life. In either event, she ends up back with her husband. Also, check out the cast -- NIkki Fritz? Julia Kruis? Dana Robbins? Ever heard of any of these people?

Anyway, let's look for these folks. . . .

Nikki Fritz -- Can be found here but it doesn't like you're going to see much without joining up for a paid membership. Nikki describes herself as an "actress, model, and Web diva." Ahem.

Julia Kruis -- Can't find a website for her, but you can see a few pics of her by doing a Google search. For some reason linking directly to the picture from here didn't work.

Dana Robbins -- Can't find much out about her.

But the essential ingredients are in place for Skinemax classic -- a completely lame plot and a smattering of non-mainstream actresses with plenty of . . . talent, as it were. If anyone should happen to stay up and watch this, please let me know if this film lives up to its obviously highbrow pretentions.

2002-07-30T22:09:00.000-04:00

07.30.2002
09:20 PM EDT

OK, too early to go to bed, and too hot to sleep anyway.

On stifling NYC days like yesterdy and today, I think about alternative climates. Of course, any place too cold is a non-starter. That still leaves a lot of places. In thinking back to places I've been . . . hmmmmmmmmmmm. Las Vegas seems to have a pretty good climate, based on my small sample of having been there twice, for a week at a time. There must be something to that old "dry heat" line, becasue een when it was 100 degrees there, it felt better than when it was 85 here and humid. The only thing about LV was that My sinuses seemed to dry up immediaitely upon stepping off of the airplane. Oh well, no place is perfect, and there are better reasons to live someplace than the weather. Aren't there?

Its awfully hot to be putting on headphones, but I need to hear some tunes . . . .

I really like ABC . . . it's a shame they never made it bigger. I suppose hey were a little too innocent (or obvious?), even for the late 70s/early 80s. But, check out "When Smokey Sings" for a four-minute vacation in a simpler time. [That the late 70s/early 80s seem "simpler" by comparison is a striking realization in and of itself, but that's a whole nother topic.]

As she's packin her things
As she's spreadin her wings
Smashin the hell with the heaven she brings
And Smokey sings . . .

How music encapsulates a mood . . . how it allows you to completely re-live, not just remember, a time in your life, has always thrilled and amazed me. I'm sure that cognitive psychologists and assorted other experts have studied this kind of topci to death. But some phenomena were meant to be witmessed and felt, not explained.

I'm always amazed when I meet someone who has no feeling for music . . . someone who doesn't get brought back to a moment by a song. But we all have taken different paths to get here -- for some I sppose the spoken word has a similiar effect. And for some others . . . well, perhaps they'd rather not re-llive moments from the past.

Then there's the sport of trying to figure out what the singer was actually singing . . . it just so happens that Jean Genie by Bowie just came on . . . .

Jean Genie . . . .lives on his back
Jean Genie . . . loves genie slacks [???] [honestly have no idea at all]
He's outrageous, he screams and he moans . . . [bowls? balls? bawls?]
Jean Genie, let yourself go . . .

Now, no trouble figuring these lyrics out . . one of cordy's and my favorite snogs . . .

Pink -- it's my new obsession
Pink it's not even a question
Pink on the lips of your lover
Cuz pink is the love you discover
Pink as the bing as your cherry
Pink -- cuz you are so very
Pink it 's the color of passion
Cuz today it just goes with the fashion

Pink it was love at first sight
Yeah pink when I turn out the light
And pink gets me high as a kite
And I think everything is going to be all right
No matter what we do tonight

You could be my flamingo
Cuz pink is a new kind of lingo
Pink like the gecko umbrella
It's kink, but you don't ever tell her

Pink it was love at first sight
Yeah pink when I turn out the light
And pink gets me high as a kite
And I think everything is going to be all right
No matter what we do tonight

I . . . want to be your lover
I, I wanna wrap you in rubber
As pink as the sheets that we lay on
Cuz pink is my favorite crayon

Pink it was love at first sight
Pink when I turn out the light
Pink is like red but not quite
And I think everything is going to be all right
No matter what we do tonight

See? It's crazy, but I feel better now . . . and the goofy strains of Steal my Sunshine aren't hurting, either . . . [Note: While having the MP3 of Steal My Sunshine doesn't prove that I'm not hopelessly retro, it does at least argue in that direction. Yes? Maybe? ]

Now, I could go into a long examination of whether it's a good thing to be so heavily influenced by music. But what could I say about it that everyone who feels the same doesn't already know? And those don't feel that way wouldn't be any closer to understanding.

Oh, the obligatory public service anouncement . . . the mad virus bomber is still at it, with a solid four messages today. Total infections: Still ZERO. Bitch.

Oh, my . . . a song that depresses Me, for reasons I can't fully aprehend . . .look at these lyrics -- what's depressing here?

I'm going back to Cali, Cali, Cali
I'm going back to Cali.. hmm, I don't think so
I'm going back to Cali, Cali, Cali
I'm going back to Cali.. I don't think so

Going back to Cali, stylin, profilin
Growlin, and smilin, wild in the sun
The top is down, on the black Corvette
And it's fly, cause it's sittin on Dayton's
Laurents steering wheel, plushed out, gold-leaf phantom top
and three girls waiting
VRRRROOM engine's blowin, the chrome, is shining
Passing all the cars on the way
Movement of the wind, back wheels spin
Pop in a cassette and push play

I'm going back to Cali, Cali, Cali
I'm going back to Cali - yea y'all, I don't think so
I'm going back to Cali, Cali, Cali
I'm going back to Cali..

I'm going back to Cali, shakin 'em, bakin 'em
Takin 'em to spots they never before hung
?? the place, on Sunset it's a trip
Where the A.C.'s cold, and the girls still strip
The record skip, but this girl kept dancin
Prancin, grindin, grinnin, romancin
I asked her to the barn, so we could hit the hay
I wanna do this, Brutus, but I don't wanna pay

I'm going back to Cali, Cali, Cali
I'm going back to Cali - no man I don't think so
I'm going back to Cali, Cali, Cali
I'm going back to Cali..
..

I'm going back to Cali, rising, surprising
Advising realizing, she's sizing me up
Her bikini - small; heels - tall
She said, she liked, the ocean
She showed me a beach, gave me a peach
and pulled out the suntan lotion
Now I thought that was fast, but this girl was faster
She's lookin for a real good time
I said, "Close your eyes, I got a surprise,"
and I ran away with the bottle of wine

I'm going back to Cali, Cali, Cali
I'm going back to Cali.. I don't think so
I'm going back to Cali, Cali, Cali
I'm going back to Cali.. I don't think so

I don't know what it is . . . the song doesn't take me back to any particualrly bad time of my life, or anything like that, like some sogns do. I think it's that mournful trumpet in the beginning. And something about the concept of leaving a place forever, there's an inheerent sadness to that. To walk on a street, and know in your bones that you'll never walk that street again . . . and although the song is obviously about something different, something in LL Cool J's voice, a certain melancholy, artfully blended with the usual puffed-out rap persona.

Anyway . . . now it's time to try sleeping. "Pink" made me feel good more than "Goin back to Cali" made me feel bad, so I'm still "plus" for the night.

2002-07-30T20:58:00.000-04:00

07.30.2002
8:57 PM EDT

Just a quick note to keep the blog semi-current. Not feeling up to writing. Early bedtime tonight I think.

2002-07-28T20:07:00.000-04:00

07.28.2002
8:04 PM EDT

The song is my head today is "The Other Side," by Aerosmith . . .

Lovin' you has got to be
Like the devil and deep blue sea
Forget about your foolish pride
And take me to the oher side . . .

You love me you hate me
You cut me down to size
You blinded me with love
And then you opened up my eyes

That about sums it up, yes? I always wonder if people expect to find love to be a transcendent experience, I mean, really expect it to be? Or do most of us just file that away as some kind of ideal, but in practice we muddle through and are happy with what we get? OK, that's pushing it. Most people aren't happ with that area of their lives. Sadly, even most married people I know aren't happy with that part of their livves. I have told people that "expectations are like poisoned candy -- sweet but deadly," but to have expectations is unavoidable, isn't it? When you stop having expectations, I wonder -- is that giving up, on some level? Or is that just being happy in the moment and taking life as it comes?

Perhaps it doesn't matter. We will always have some kind of expectations. Even if we somehow enter into a relationship with none, they soon develop (positive and negative). For instance, if he calls you every day for eight days straight, the ninth day has an expectation attached to it. Conscious or not, it's there. On a certain level, that's healthy, I suppose. Most people need some kind of consistency in most areas of their lives. Being able to rely on certain things is comforting and settling. But then, of course, after a while our expectations trap the other person and hold him or her down . . . uggh . . . this is too much to think about for a Sunday night . ..

2002-07-27T21:22:00.000-04:00

07.27.2002
9:20 PM EDT

Took my son to one of a carnival today. One forgets the simple plasures of fried dough and snow cones . . . I wish I could forget the way the game operators try to hustle you. But it's all good . . . my son had a great time, and that's the important thing.

2002-07-26T19:23:00.000-04:00

07.26.2002
06:47 PM EDT

The last five MP3s that came up on my random play:
"I Touch Myself" -- The Divinyls
"Is She Really Going Out With Him?" -- Joe Jackson
"It's a Long Way Back to Germany" -- The Ramones
"Mondo Bondage" -- The Tubes
"You've Got Another Thing Coming" -- Judas Priest

That last one is a good song to blog by (if you're feeling "up") . . . rather ironic, though, if you indulge it . . . "that's right, here's where the talking ends . . . "

"In this world we're livin' in, we have our share of sorrow . . . " Which gets me thinking. Why are most blogs sad and/or pissed off? Perhaps because when we're feeling good about things, it's more fun to be out there, feeling good about yourselves, rather than sitting in front of a PC writing about how good we feel? Or -- we'd rather share the bad stuff? Better stated -- we need to share the bad stuff more? Hmmmmmm.

OK, here's an even better blogging song . . . "Peg" by Steely Dan. The barely expressed bitterness of lost love, the sound so clean it's almost hygienic. Everything just under the surface . . . waiting to come out.
"I like your pin shot . . . I keep it with your letter. Done up in blueprint blue, it sure looks good on you. . . Peg . . . it will come back to you . . . "

I keep track of my work by thinking about how many "swipes" are left in the week. That is, how many more swipes of the MetroCard through the subway turnstile before the workweek is over. A week is 10 swipes. I find myself thinking of it at odd times. It's sill, especially, since even after the last "swipe," I have to get to Grand Central and then take the train home, but somehow, when that last swipe happens on Friday afternoon, I feel as though the weekend has officially begun.

Speaking of trains, Metro North trains kind of suck. Don't get me wrong -- they're nice and clean (bathrooms excluded -- that's a crapshoot, no pun intended) and they're more or less on time. [A note on that: Metro North uses a standard of "arriving no later than 5 minutes and 59 seconds after the scheduled arrival time" to denote "on-time." By that measure, weekday rush hour trains are something like 98% on-time. But that's a lame standard. My train trip should be 50 minutes. If th train is 6 minutes late, that's 12% of the predicted trip time -- that's not "on time."]

The problem is with the seats. In the old days (like, 30 years ago, maybe), the trains had two seats on each side of the aisle. Now they have three on one side and two on the other, so each seat is correspondingly narrower. Which is fine if you're small person. Not if you're my size (6'3", 225). If your legs are long, your knees are crunched up against the seat in front of you. I often fall asleep on the train and wake up with one or more sore body parts from having had to contort myself into the seat.

Other than that rather large negative, the trains are otherwise all right. The conductors are generally nice. The price is reasonable (if you use it every day and have a monthly ticket). The railroad does a fairly good job of having enough cars on the rush hour trains, with a couple of notable exceptions. The air conditioning works in the summer (sort of) and the heat works in the winter. Although, truth be told, the air conditioning on the subways is much better -- even more impressive considering how tightly pcked subways can get.

The ideal plan, of course, is this:
1. Win the Mega-Millions jackpot.
2. Move to NYC.
3. Never set foot on a Metro North train again.

Until then, it's not so bad . . . and I feel better now (I’m sure you're just thrilled to know that).

Have a good weekend, all. A great Friday night song just came on . . .

Well I was rolling down the road in some cold blue steel
I had a bluesman on the back and a beautician at the wheel
We're goin' downtown in the middle of the night
We're laughin' and I'm jokin' and I'm feelin' all right
Oh, I'm bad . . . I'm nationwide . . .

Easin' down the highway in a New Cadillac
I had a fine fox in front I had three more in the back
They sportin' short dresses wearing spike-heeled shoes
They smokin' Lucky Strikes and wearin' nylons too . . .
Oh, we bad . . .we nationwide . . .

--ZZ Top, "I'm Bad, I'm Nationwide"

2002-07-24T20:23:00.000-04:00

OK, moved the counter so it will stay on the page instead of going away when posts go to archives.

2002-07-24T17:41:00.000-04:00

Katie Jordon is cool. Just a random thought. But don't look at her site if you've just weighed yourself and are feeling fat becasue you've put on a few pounds. Emily Marilyn is cool, too. Same warning applies. I made Winamp skins of both of them . . .they are here (adults only) or accessible via the link at upper left.

Which gets me to the whole man-woman thing. I was reading a blog, and the woman writing it concluded by saying, more or less, that men should "grow up and stop holding out for the girl from Alias."

Hmmmmmm. My gut reaction to this kind of claptrap is "payback's a bitch." Guys, remember, when the women in their 20s wouldn't give you the time of day in bars, becaue you weren't cool/hip/good-looking/dangerous/whatever enough? Those same women, now in their mid-30s, are on daytime TV, saying "Oprah, all I want is a guy who's single, straight, and employed."

OK, that's a bit harsh, but not altogether inaccurate. There's an old saying, from a horribly "sexist" but reletnlessly straight-shooting bygone era, that goes "treat a lady like a whore and a whore like a lady." This could be partially translated in more PC terms, into "nice gils don't want nice guys." And, sadly, when they're young, at least, they often don't seem to. Take it from a former nice guy. ("Former" not becasue I'm not nice anymore, "former" in the sense being discussed here becasue I'm not actively looking for female companionship.)

I won't go down the road of saying that it's the media's fault blah blah blah. Yes, we're all inundated by sexual imagery all the time. Yes, the body image of young girls is distorted by what they read an hear and try to emulate in the media. Yes, yes, yes. But the individual bears some repsonsibility here. A lot of guys are dogs, granted. And a lot of women are, shall we say, "witches" (no, not Wiccans LOL). And not all of that is attributable to fashion magazines and MTV and advertising. If guys are "holding out for the girl from Alias," perhaps they're influenced by a lot of the same imagery. But both sexes should apply a little bit of critical thinking and settle down a bit. The girl (guy) you want isn't always the one that will bring you happiness. Be good to each other, and allow the other to show you how good he or she can be to you, without all that surface crap we get bogged down in.

Personally, even if I weren't attached, I wouldn't holding out for the girl from Alias. But would I be holding out for Sela Ward? That depends, Oprah -- is she single, straight, and employed?

2002-07-24T17:38:00.000-04:00

07.24.2002
5:30 PM EDT

Gnoig home on the subway yesterday, I struck up a conversation with a family of toursits, visiting NYC from L. A. It was about 95 degrees yesteday and horrendously humid. The tourist family got on at Fulton St., where I do. And, well, it seems that the most important memory of their New York City exeprience will be the stifling atmosphere on the Fulton Street subway platform. Unfortunate, but a subway platform on a sweltering summer day is an unforgettbale experience, especially the first time. Those of us who are used to it, well . . . it doesn't have the same impact.

I asked them how long they were in town for. "Just today and tomorrow," tourist-Mom said. "We're doing the East Coast thing -- we spent a couple of days in Boston, a couple of days here, and then a couple of days in Phildelphia. This made me laugh (to myself) -- only a Californian could think that Boston, NYC, and Philadelphia are deserving of the same amount of visiting time. Oh, well . . .

2002-07-23T19:38:00.000-04:00

07.23.2002
07:31 PM EDT

The spam count today was a pretty healthy 65, plus two efforts from the mad virus bomber. Subject lines of the virus e-mails: 'A New Website' and 'Japanese Girl vs. Playboy.' Speaking of Playboy, I saw that they did "the Women of Enron" and are looking to do "the Women of WorldCom." Good thing . . . at least some of the former employees of these companies will have something to put in their retirement accounts.

I wanted to write more about the whole dominance and submission thing, but that topic takes a kind of energy that I don't have right now. Stay tuned for that heady diatribe.

Last night's blog (about the Twin Towers) actually had two readers (at least) besdies cordelia and D., which was nice to see. One of these days I'll claw my way to up "Blogs of Note" and my inbox will be stuffed with insightful comments, instead of "make your cock drag on the floor," "britney's first gangbang," and "lowest mortgage raties ever."

2002-07-22T19:24:00.000-04:00

Summer in NYC means, among other things, tourists. Which is good, obviously, in economic terms. But it gives me a funny feeling when they stop me on the street and ask if I can tell them how to get to Ground Zero.

In September 2001, I was working downtown, in a building a few blocks from the Trade Center. When the first plane hit, I must have still been in the subway. On the short walk from the subway to the office, I didn’t notice anything unusual. When I got upstairs, someone told me that a plane had hit the Trade Center. A co-worker had the live video on some news website, showing the black smoke coming from the building. At that point we were just standing around, wondering how a commercial plane could have gotten so far off-course, etc.

A few minutes later, I heard a sound like a grand piano being dropped right next to me from a tenth-story window. The building shook., and within seconds, it seemed, word was spreading – another plane had hit the other tower. No aviation accident, obviously -- a terrorist attack. And somewhere in that time, we learned about the Pentagon and the plane somewhere in Pennsylvania.

A friend wanted to take a walk up the street, to see if we could see what was going on. I went along out of unease at sitting around at my desk more than anything else.

We couldn’t get very close to the site, due more to the multitude of people milling around than to any organized emergency presence. Black and gray smoke poured from the Towers . . . we speculated about the fate of those in the Towers on floors above where the planes had hit, on whether those in the second tower hit had had the good sense to evacuate before their building was hit, etc. What we didn’t know at the time was how close together the stairways inside the towers were to each other, allowing the plane hits to take out all of the stairways at once, making escape for those above the floors that been hit essentially impossible. But the impossibility of their situation became abundantly clear once we started to see the bodies of people jumping out of the Towers, caught in the whipsaw of deadly options: burning, smoke inhalation, or jumping from the 80-smoething floor.

I headed back to the office, slightly dazed. No one even pretended to work. Shortly thereafter, I head an eerie whooshing sound, that lasted for what official reports claim was 10 seconds, although it seemed longer. Almost immediately after the sound stopped, it became pitch-black outside the window. I recall thinking a series of confused thoughts, nonsensical things. Someone said that the sound we’d heard was one of the Towers collapsing. The blackness was from the particulate matter in the air. The blackness outside the window was like a funeral shroud tossed over the financial district by some unseen hand. There was nothing outside the window but black. A black with depth, somehow, filling every space between buildings.

I was jarred out of these thoughts by the sound of the employee fire marshal for the floor yelling and screaming at everyone to get moving. I recall thinking that they could have chosen someone better for the job than the person they did. He was obviously the most upset person on the floor --not the best choice to get people to move along in an orderly fashion.

We were herded down the stairs until we got a floor that had been designated as the emergency collection point. Lots of us crammed into a conference room. A television in the conference room was tuned to CNN. I looked out a window – the blackness had already started to fade; in its place a medium-gray haze permeated everything, slowly lightening. I went back into the conference room.

The CNN coverage was . . . well, about what one would expect, and as good as could have been expected under the circumstances. Lots of switching back and forth between the studio and the site, checking in on the Pentagon, live updates and plenty of unconfirmed items flying around. At some point in there, I can’t remember exactly when, the news that the plane in Pennsylvania had crashed.

CNN made one of its quick changes, and we watched the second tower come down, but with the added soundtrack outside of that eerie whooshing sound again. People cried in that conference room. Most of us I think were just numb. I didn’t sense a lot of fear in that room; I sensed bewilderment, shock, and budding anger. But little fear. I looked outside – the second collapse had filled all the spaces outside with the blackness again.

There was nothing to do now but wait. Wait for the blackness to clear, wait for the OK to leave the building – we were being told not to leave, which at that moment was superfluous since there was no way to see anything outside of the building anyway. I didn’t feel like watching CNN, but there was little else to do. Slowly, the blackness cleared to medium-gray again. I could make out the features of things outside the window.

I was too restless to hang around any longer. I grabbed a plastic breathing mask and headed out the door, not waiting for the “official OK” to leave the building. No one was standing on ceremony at this point anyway.

What confronted me outside was a lunar landscape, as if rendered by an crack-crazed urban artist. The streets were deserted (the building is a few blocks south and west of where the Towers stood), and covered with an inch or two of fine gray dust. Pieces of paper, some singed around the edges, were everywhere. The monotony of the debris was broken only by the occasional piece of fuzzy yellowish-green insulation, and, at one point, more ominously, by a sneaker.

I put my reading glasses on since the swirling gray stuff in the air was burning my eyes. The breathing mask seemed to help a bit.

I walked a number of blocks before I started to see other people . . . obviously the police had been moving people uptown, away from the site. I kept walking past closed subway stations. There were no taxis to be had, all presumably having been pressed into emergency service.

Eventually, the gray dust subsided, I didn’t see any more papers, and more and more people were about. At each intersection, police forced everyone uptown, away from the direction of the site. The sidewalks swelled; my pace was slowed and I saw that same expression on everyone’s face. As in the conference room, a few cried, but mostly shock and numbness.

At some point it dawned on me that I would have to walk all the way to Grand Central Station. I didn’t relish that prospect, but relished even less the possibility that the trains wouldn’t be running once I got there. Something in me just kept walking though . . . most likely the realization that I had no other options.

It wasn’t until I reached the Union Square area that the air actually felt “normal.” I couldn’t tell whether the smell I smelled was the air or the dust that covered me. Someone standing on the sidewalk offered to rinse the gray dust off of my shoes with a hose. I was about to politely decline when he said the gray dust was asbestos. I didn’t really believe that it was but figured that I was better off without the dust on my shoes than with it.

Even north of Union Square, the sidewalks were jammed with people. I think that the police had made 14th street the boundary below which people couldn’t walk, but even well north of 14th Street the pedestrian traffic flow was overwhelmingly northward.

Somewhere in the East 30s, an SUV was stopped at an intersection, burning. I stared at it a moment, not fascinated, not repulsed, just . . . totally unconcerned with it. I looked at the black smoke coming from the car fire, and thought of the smoking Towers I’d seen earlier that morning, when there still were Towers. I kept on walking, not to get away from the car fire, which in a perverse way was beautiful in its contained fury, but just to keep making progress towards Grand Central and the uncertain situation I would find there.

I arrived at Grand Central Station. Mobbed, of course. No one had stayed at his or her job that day, even those far from the area of the attacks. No one knew when or if there would be more attacks. Rumors were everywhere – every landmark was considered a potential target. [I had to laugh when I later learned that the Mall of America in Minnesota closed, fearing that its “landmark” status would cause it to be a terrorist target.] I personally didn’t feel unsafe at Grand Central; had I thought about it, I might have. But my mind was strangely “turned off” by this point. I didn’t even feel my legs hurting. I was functioning on a very simple level – able to focus on one thing and one thing only at a time. Find out if trains are running.

Trains were in fact running, outbound, but not in. There was no schedule, per se. There would be an announcement of a train and a track. All trains would make all stops. Get on a train and ride until it stops where you need it to stop.

A train was announced and I made my way to the track. I ended up sitting in the bar car and all there was to do was to talk about t what had happened. A girl sitting across from me had been in the second Tower, on the 59th floor. She’d wisely left her building when the first Tower had been hit. People who had driven into city had left their cars. I looked at people’s faces. No tears, now. No shock, even . . . just resignation quickly turning to anger.

The train ride was thankfully uneventful. I desperately wanted it to be over, needing to be alone, needing to not hear any news or uninformed speculation for a few hours. Needing silence and, however illusory, peace.

I got home and unplugged the phone. I lowered the room-darkening shades and fell into my bed. I closed my eyes and embraced the blackness.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the days and months that followed, I got by turns angry and sick. I’ll spare you all the gory details of each realization – here’s the important points.

1. OK, everyone’s patriotic enough. I really didn’t need everyone trying to outdo everyone else with the red white and blue. I was five blocks away when the Towers came down. I don’t need someone from the other side of the country telling me how to react or questioning my patriotism.

2. Can we please stop with the police and firemen thing? The “heroes” of September 11th are the people who went to work, trying to provide for their families, and who ended up dying. The Mexican dishwasher who worked at Windows on the World. The guy from Liverpool I knew, who loved America more than many Americans. The regular average people, who never expected that an office job entailed risking one’s life. I appreciate beyond words the efforts of the police and firemen, but they know when they go to work each day, that risk to life and limb is a daily and constant part of their jobs. The vast majority of people who died in the Towers were people who had no reason to think that work was a matter of life and death. Those are my heroes.

3. The government, well, don’t get me started. The ability of the Bush Administration to continue to get mileage out of what happened is something that I’ve given up being disgusted by. I just expect it now.

4. Last week, six possible designs for the future of the site were unveiled, to a generally scathing response. The Port Authority is going back to the drawing board, soliciting more proposals. Count me among the scathers. The sex designs were all very similar, and similarly uninspired. The main problem is that the Port Authority made it a condition of the process that all designs include the full 11 million square feet of office space that were lost when the Towers collapsed. This limitation, if enforced, will almost perforce lead to an unsatisfactory result. And, as much as I hate to say it, NYC doesn’t really need 11 million square feet of additional office space. The Port Authority needs to reconsider who it thinks it's building for, and what it’s building for – a memorial, something fitting to the memories of those who died there, or making sure that the amount of office space under its control is the same as it was before last September?

5. Of course, everything is political. So, regardless of whether the Port Authority drops the ludicrous office space requirement from the design, what we end up with will be some collection of boxy buildings, a couple of which will be really tall. They will surround the footprint of where the Towers stood, since politically it will be almost impossible to build directly on those areas. And it will be the kind of project that will generate the maximum number of construction jobs. Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. I wonder if by the time this is all said and done if anyone will remember what this was supposed to be about. Most likely not. But the politicians will all have big smiles when they break ground and cut ribbons etc,. ad nauseum, and enage in an orgy ofself-congratulation over their “leadership” and their ability to “promote healing” and “revitalize downtown New York.” I think I will get sick now and beat the rush.

6. I know that Rudy Guiliani is full of himself almost beyond human comprehension, but the suggestion that he stay in office after his term expired, and his acceptance of such an hare-brained scheme were beyond the pale. Guiliani outdid himself for chutzpah and diminished an otherwise favorable impression he had made as a leader in a time of crisis.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you ask me for directions to Ground Zero, and my answer is a little perfunctory, I’m not being rude. I just really want to stop thinking about it. Which is proving harder than I thought it would be.

2002-07-21T10:17:00.000-04:00

07.21.2002
10:05 AM EDT

OK, enough about boring stock market and political stuff for a bit.

Last night, the mad virus bomber sent me two more. But he must've been pressed for time or something, because while he sent the e-mails, he forgot to attach the actual virus files. [I can tell the virus e-mails by the subject lines -- there are a number of exact phrases always used.] Anyway, I'm happy to report that he's back in form this morning, sending me one a few minutes ago, attachment included. Guess what. I still didn't open it.

By the way, as a public service, if you do get an e-mail with an attachment, from a sender that you don't know (or weren't expecting), delete it without opening it. The subject lines that this bomber(s) tends to use are along the lines of "A very funny game" "New screensaver" "Pictures of my girlfriend" "Message Undeliverable" "Worm E.klez immunity," etc. This particular bomber(s) is hiding the source of his e-mails using a French domain (i. e., ending with ".fr"). If you right-click on the message and select Properties and then Message Source, you will see normally a whole slew of domains through which the message has been routed, none of which presumably is the real one.

Also, be aware that it's possible to get an infected file from a friend. Many of these e-mail viruses, once they infect a PC, will send themselves to everyone in your address book. So it may look like your friend has sent you a virus, and in fact, he or she has, but not intentionally. If the infected PC has ICQ installed, the virus may also attempt to send itself to everyone on your ICQ list.

Go to the Norton web page to get removal instructions for viruses. Search for the name of the virus you're infected with. Of course, you may not know you're infected. Always run your anti-virus software, and keep your virus definitions up to date. Norton and McAfee are the market leaders. You can also find a number of demo, shareware, and freeware anti-virus programs here.

I was just playing around with the Archives and Links a little bit, and finally have those working correctly (if not aesthetically wonderful, for the moment). And it got me to thinking about the blogging process in general.

I'm sure there have been books written about this by now, but . . . what's the psychology of a web page? A blog, being so (potentially) personal -- does that engender feelings of defensiveness/pride, etc., on one's part about the page itself -- the way it looks and feels? We all have proprietary feelings about our work, about anything that is remotely "creative," especially. I have seen some very cool-looking pages. So cool looking, in fact, that I presume that one is supposed to overlook or not be fazed by the mundane content. Better to look good than to feel (or write) good? On the web, understandably, there is that impulse. There's a lot of competition out there, if one looks at it that way, and first impressions mean a lot.

As for me, I toil here in anonymity (the site counter doesn't lie too much), and the page looks like what it looks like. Content still matters, and while content and looks don't have to be mutually exclusive, I don't have the skill or the time to devote to the looks.

Or am I all wet here? E-mail me (see the newly functioning link to your left) and let me know. . . .

2002-07-21T09:40:00.000-04:00

07.21.2002
8:50 AM EDT

I wrote a little while back about a co-corker of mine who was let go. I've spoken to him almost daily since then; he's doing all right. Other than getting killed in the stock market every day, that is. But he seems to have the right combination of optimism, realism, and humor to get through it. And while the consulting market may not be fantastic right now, it's significantly better than it was right after 9/11, and seems to be slowly improving.

About that stock market meltdown [another 390 points on Friday, and look for an ugly Monday]. As I've written previously, the market sometimes votes on the state of the economy, it sometimes votes on the state of our political leadership, it sometimes votes on the state of the world, but right now it's voting on the state of corporate governance and the overall reliability of the numbers the corporate America provides to investors. But . . .

The market is subject to irrational swings of the pendulum. There is a herd mentality -- the market tends to over-reward and over-punish. And, in the market we have right now, there still are some common sense-reasons to be pessimistic.

During the dot-com go-go years many stocks were wildly overvalued. Valuations have plummeted, but the problem is that many stocks remain overvalued, even though the price per share is way down. This is because the market tends to look at market capitalization -- the total "value" of the company as expressed by the price per share multiplied by the total number of shares outstanding. So, many companies, as a result of frequent stock splits during the go-go years, ended up with billions of shares out there. As a result, even with low prices per share, their market capitalizations are still higher than the market (with good reason, mostly) thinks the companies are actually worth.

This is part of the reason that market hasn't had too many bounce-back days after steep declines. Often, "bargain hunters" will buy in after a decline, because certain stocks they are looking at have now declined in price to the point where they are thought to be bargains. Right now, there are not enough bargains out there -- or, more accurately -- there are not enough stocks that are perceived to be bargains. And that's the key . . . because the market, at base, is all about perception. It matters how the economy is doing, but it matters more how the market thinks the economy is doing. And, as with anything, a thing is "worth" what people think it's worth, because what they think it's worth determines what they will pay for it. If you put your house up for sale with an asking price of $1 million, and no one thinks it's "worth" more than $600,000, you're not going to get any offers for it that you like.

Another factor that is a drag on the market right now is that, even while a number of companies have reported good earnings for the quarter that just ended on June 30, their forecasts for the rest of 2002 have been ambivalent to negative, almost across the board. This enforces the market's current perception that beauty is skin-deep but ugly goes right down to the bone.

So, given all that, barring some kind of unprecedented occurrence, it will more than likely be a while before the stock market recovers significantly. Market psychology tends to shift slowly, almost imperceptibly. It will get better. Eventually, all the cash on the sidelines will get tired of getting 1-point-something returns, the economy will improve more, nudging interest rates up and making bonds less attractive, companies' outlook for future time periods will improve and slowly the perception will change, and the main urge will be to buy instead of to sell.

But in the meantime, keep those crash helmets handy. I don't think anyone, even the so-called experts, knows where the bottom is.

2002-07-20T20:12:00.000-04:00

07.20.2002
7:52 PM EDT

Why exactly do we want to invade Iraq? The cynical me tends to think that Bush is insecure if his approval rating drops below 85%, and a war in progress is always good for stifling those pesky folks who would otherwise be pointing out a bunch of things that aren't really going too well. Let's face it, Afghanistan turned out thankfully to be not the quagmire that many predicted. But, of course its PR value is exhausted. So, let's turn our attentions to the "axis of evil" and start by going after Saddam Hussein.

This makes no sense. Hussein is contained. He is a known quantity. He tried his big move; he got his hand slapped. {Brief digression. If you think sanctions against Iraq are working, consider that Hussein recently refused to allow UN weapons inspectors back into the country in exchange for dropping the sanctions. Since he never had any problem moving the bad stuff around to keep it from being found by inspectors in the past, this tells met hat sanctions aren't bothering him too much. End of digression.]

Anyway, why do we want to make this guy a hero again in the Arab world by attacking Iraq? It will not be another Vietnam. Th terrain in Iraq is favorable for softening up via massive long-term bombing before sending any ground troops in. But don't kid yourself. There WILL be American casualties. And we will most likely not find and or kill Saddam Hussein in the process.

But . . . let's assume that we do this and carry it all the way through. Saddam Hussein is dead, or in hiding outside of Iraq somewhere. Iraq's army and infrastructure have been decimated. Given George the Second's professed distaste for "nation building," what happens after we leave?

Well, here's a guess. In the west of Iraq, a Marxist Kurdish state with designs on that part of Turkey that they consider rightfully theirs will result. The Turks will almost certainly be motivated to attack this new state before they themselves are attacked. And that leaves us -- where? Th Turks have been, for better or worse, a long-term US ally. We may not approve of the way the Kurds have been treated, but we could hardly abandon Turkey and would have to at least turn a blind eye if they decide to go after the Kurds in what used to be western Iraq.

In the east, a radical Shiite state that is closely allied with Iran forms. Who thinks THAT"S a good idea?

In the rest of what used to be Iraq -- what? A US puppet state? Something akin to what Lebanon has become -- virtual anarchy, with government, as it were, by whoever has the most muscle in the neighborhood?

Drug-running warlords now largely control Afghanistan -- no nation building for us, no Sir.

Envision the future for Iraq and someone please tell me the compelling reason(s) for attacking.

2002-07-19T22:30:00.000-04:00

07.19.2002
10:22 PM EDT

One thing . . . . I re-newed the "limited time offer" in my last post, but of course as usual I didn't provide the link.

So. If you'd like to see a topic discusssed here, just e-mail me and I'll talk about it. I can talk about almost anything, at least semi-intelligently, usually.

Installing a firewall on your PC is an enlightening experience. I don't know whether I should feel better or worse, seeing all the attacks. Tonight, in the past three hours, there have been probes/attacks by no less than 7 script kiddies or would-be hackers. The thing is not take it peresonally. The port-scanning scripts and programs are run against a whole range of IP addresses. If you are interested, you can download trial versions of popular firewalls here.

Happy weekend, all . . .

2002-07-19T20:12:00.000-04:00

07.19.2002
7:39 PM EDT

The spam count for today: (Received between 11PM yesterday and 7:30 PM today)

Total: 54

Subject Matter: Entertainment 1, Financial, 20, Adult, 10, Health 12, Viruses 1, Unclassifiable based on the subjet line 5, Computer-related 3, Travel, 1

No highly entertaining subject lines. To be fair, though, today was a light day for spam. I normally get more than 70 during the same span of time on a normal day. Perhaps the spammers have determined that Friday is not a prime day. Even the mad bomber only sent one instead of his normal two or three. It must have been oppressively humid everywhere in spam-land today, as it was here.

STOP THE PRESSES -- I just get four more e-mail while I was writing the above paragraph. 3 spams, one not. And one of those spams, at leat has a decent topic line. It's fom "Allison" who wants to tell me that: "MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR IS A WHORE -- CAUGHT ON TAPE!" Allsion, so is Mine, I think . . . maybe we can trade tapes.

The other E-mail is more interesting -- it is in response to my "limited time offer" of a few days ago when I said I would discuss the topic of the e-mailer's choice. So here goes. The topic is from a fiend of mine from the on-line BDSM world . . . she writes --

Seriously interested in hearing your comments on switching.... on exploration of the dom/sub roles and .....anything else you want to ramble on about in that general topic area.

OK, I offered, and the lovely D. came up with a topic. To wit:

There are a lot of people, especially on-line who are "switches," that is, they alternate between the Dominant and submissive roles as the mood strikes them, more or less. Some people sort of implicitly look down on switches; I have heard it voiced that switches are just basically selfish, wanting everything their own way at all times. They change roles to maximize their own pleasure and convenience. And while I understand that viewpoint, I don't totally endorse it. There are people who are just playing around, and they switch more or less for the hell of it. There are people who are sincerely exploring, and need to experience both roles as a way of helping to understand what role is for them, ir if the life is for them at all. And there are, I have come to grudgingly admit, people who deeply feel both roles, or, I should say, deeply feel each role at the time they're assuming said role. I say "grudgingly" because I don't get it. Myself, I have felt both roles, and deeply, but never at the same point in my life. I've come to a point where after a long time I know what I am in this, and can't ever see myself going the other way. But we're all different.

And I try hard not to judge. The younger people who seem to be flocking to the BDSM lifestyle are by turns fascinating, maddening, annoying, insightful, disrespectful, and a million other things. But we're all feeling our way, as we do in any other endeavor.

Thanks, D., for reading my blog and suggesting a topic. The limited time offer is still in effect. There is tons more to say on this topic, and lord knows I can ramble about just about anything.

2002-07-17T19:22:00.000-04:00

07.17.2002 6:51 PM

Dating tips for guys:

1. While dining in a Chinese restuarant, and your date spears a pan-fried dumpling with her fork, and the dumpling juice sqiurts her in the face, DO NOT laugh and make a reference to the "money shot."
2. I understand that we're all modern and hip and everything these days, but a little old-school gentlemanly behavior goes a long way. If the woman in question doesn't appreciate it, you more than likely don't want a second date anyway.
3. Chris Rock was correct: Women need three things in life -- food, water, and compliments.
4. Be generous. Not to get anything. Just to be generous. And generous doesn't have to mean money. It means attention, and really "being in hte moment" with the other person.
5. A date is like an audition. A two-way audition. The old approach to nervousness works well -- picture your audience in their underwear. But DO NOT make reference to it at least it's clear that you're not going to have just picture it.
6. Exotic food is great. Curry sweat is not.

We're all compliated creatues. Be careful out there . . .

Which leads me, for no particular reason, to the topic of dominance and submission (D/s). It's something that has interested me for some time. At present, my activities in this sphere are limited to on-line. Mainly because the woman I love is on the other side of the country and neither of us can move right now.

On-line D/s as a subculture is rich and varied. I assume that a similar richness exists on-line outside of the D/s world, but I really wouldn't know, since I never frequent "vanilla" places. But, my goodness, it seems that D/s is exploding lately. I think this is becasue younger people are altogether more comfortable with their own sexuality, whatever form it takes, than old farts like me. And that greater comfort is both a blessing and a curse. In the long run, I assume it's healthier for them psychologically, but greater comfort also means greater naivete. Younger people also in my anecdotal experience seem to focus more on the sexual aspects of D/s and often end up with a distorted picture of D/s.

Anyway, it's taken me some time to understand that I gravitate towards and need the Dominant role. Why? I was afraid you might ask that . . .

There is a short answer an a longer one, neither one ultimately satisfying. But here goes:

Short unsatisfying answer: It's smoething that you just feel. If you don't have that feeling, you may never really understand.

Longer, hopefully less unsatisfying answer: I need that feeling that I feel when cordelia (my submissive and my love) totally gives over to me. When she lays that gift out to me, with all that she is, and I in turn reach inside her and pull out even more, the exchange of emotions is beyond love, beyond words, almost beyond comprehension. The intensity of it is greater than any purely sexual thing could ever be.

More on this very complicated topic another time . . . I thought a had a good link to put here on the subject, but the site appears not be functioning. Next time . . .

2002-07-16T19:54:00.000-04:00

07.16.2002 7:31 PM EDT

I work in the fnancial district of NYC. Down there, there is a small triangle, where Willaim Street runs across, and Maiden Lane and Liberty St run along the sides. This triangle, I learned today, actually has a name -- Louise Nevelson Plaza. It's home to an agressively ugly modern sculpture (is there any other kind?), a few policemen who perform some vague post-9/11 security-related function for the Federal Reserve Building nearby, lots of people cutting across going to and from Quizno's and various delis, and a group of people who set up tables and hustle backgammon and chess, particularly during lunch hour.

Backgammon is the perfect hustler's game. Since there is an element of luck, it's easy for people to delude themselves about their ability. And the hustler's life blood are the people who think they are better at a game than they really are. And something about the nature of backgammon seems to lead many people to a certain extra arrogance about their ability. Hustlers can smell this kind of fresh meat. I once watched a Wall Streeter lose close to $150 in under 45 miutes. He had bad dice, yes, but he was also clearly overmatched, accpting several doubles he never should have, doubling when the situation didn't call for it, etc. At a certain point one would think that reality would set in, but in backgammon, it rarely does. The guy walked away, thinking of his bad dice instead of his bad play, and more than likely silently vowing to get revenge next time.

Chess is a different proposition. Most people have a fairly good idea of whether they're any good or not. And if you don't, it only takes one game againt someone significantly better than you to put things in perspective. I don't play chess well enough to accurately assess the skill of the hustlers in downtown NYC, but they would appear to be masters of speed chess, certainly. Or perhaps, the quality of the oppositioin is so poor that they seem better than thy are.

Either way, sunny weather = good bucks for the chess and backgammon hustlers. And remember the old saying: If you sit down at a poker game and can't figure out who the sucker is within 10, minutes, the sucker is you.

Housekeeping items: 1. OK, going to try a new comment thingy -- someting about Entation bugs me. I saw BlogOut, and that looks pretty cool. Now, if I can just find that link again . . .

1A. Of course, a comments system only takes on importance if in fact someone actually reads this. Which would be nice . . .

2. Speaking of links, I mentioned that I enjoyed Edie Singleton's "A Mating Call in the Concrete Jungle.": But I didn't link to it. How analog of me. Nobody does anything wihtout a hyperlink these days. So you can find Edie's funny, insightful, commentaries on the single life in NYC here.

3. SPECIAL LIMITED TIME OFFER: If someone reads this blog, and e-mails me, I'll discuss the topic of the e-mailer's choice, right here. Obviously, this does not apply to the mad virus bomber who sends, on average, 3 virus e-mails a day.

4. All right. Finally got the BlogOut code to work right.

5. Sorry about the typos. I assume that the pay version has spell-checking. It looks like I will have to explore that option, given how poor My typing is and how tedious it is to keep scanning for typos.

2002-07-15T18:51:00.000-04:00

07.15.2002 6:11 PM EDT

An odd, formless, vaguely unsatisfying day. At one point, I was walking along and the feeling that there is something I must let go of came over me with great force. This feeling was unsettling, and plunged me into a long examination of what that thing might be. As always with me, the "revelation" is never complete -- there is nohting obvious to let go of, because there is nothing I can see that I clearly am clinging to.

But that's all right -- I don't trust emotional revelations anyway. If there is something to be let go of, it will be made clear to me, in simple, non-devastating terms and at the proper time.

I was watching the stock market earlier today, as it slid down another 300 points before rallying and only finishing down 40-something. Bush's comments were having no effect, and I'm wondering if everyone in the Administration is as clueless as they seem to be. The stock market is not reacting to the econoomy. The economy really, is not that bad.

The market is reacting to the fact that the numbers, the financial statements that companies produce, can not be trusted. During the "bubble" years, when every stock went up, seemingly every day, and there seemed no end in sight, no one cared that the books were cooked. Or, more accuratlely, no one wanted to care. Everyone was making too much money.

Now, reality has set in with a vengence, we turn around and see that there's no reason to believe the numbers that are put in front of us. The boards are cross-pollinated rubber-stamps for the CEO. The auditors are too concerned about losing consulting revenue (which earns them much more money and higher margins -- auditing work is almost a loss-leader to get a foot in the door for the consulting area). The regulators are held back, lest they "crush America's entrepenuerial spirit" (another Bush howler). It used to be that a sharp would-be investor could look at a company's financial statement and see that the numbers hid an underlying softness. Now, the nunbers are simply not to be believed, since the line has been crossed over to simple fraud. And there's no way to tell who else might have done it, until the next "shocking" headline.

Take Worldcom, for instance. Without getting into too much detail, simply put, WorldCom took almost $4 billion of costs that should have been current expenses and treated tham as long-term capital expenses, thereby inflating earnings and making cash flow look much better. This was a bald-faced fraud. Worse, their auditors, Arthur Andersen (way to go, guys!) claim not to have known about it. For a fraud of this magnitude to have gone "unseen" by Andersen is either proof of their complete ineptitude or proof of their deep complicity. Either way, for Andersen, which was mortally wounded by the Enron vedict, the WorldCom disclosures amount to having the last couple of shells in the chamber emptied into the still-wiggling corpse.

[A slight digression here. In certain circles there are very little tears being shed over Andersen's troubles and imminent demise. For years, Andersen and many of its people were known as some of the most arrogant, condescending, full-of-themselves stuffed shirts around. This arrogance was expressed on the personal and on the corporate level. So, a lot of people are enjoying Andersen's swift and brutal comeuppance. Personally, I feel bad for the majority of Andersen's employees -- most of them are honest hard-working people who are most likely going to lose jobs for no reason other than that a few greedy and ultra-arrogant partners thought they were gods, and acted like it. It may in fact turn out that the other 4 of what were known as the Big 5 are no better -- and perhaps most or all of them are just about to be publicly exposed in similar fashion. Andersen may only be the first, and not even necessarily the worst. End of breif digression.]

So, what's to be done about all this? Bush's speech on the floor of the excahnge was completely lacking in substance (a fact verified by the highly positive reaction it received from most CEOs). Congress is attempting to do a better job, and has some good proposals under consideration. But, the thing that is really needed, and which is more or less impossible given the way things work, was made famous by none other than Nancy Reagan. The answer is three little words:

JUST SAY "NO."

The Board of Directors, when the CEO proposes a ridiculous stock option plan that enriches the executives at the expense of the shareholders, has to JUST SAY "NO."

The auditor, when the client wants the auditor to sign off on accounting measures that will mislead investors, has to JUST SAY "NO."

The shareholders, when presented with the same old slate of lame directors, have to JUST SAY "NO."

There. I feel better now. None of that will happen, of course, but I feel better. Congress will pass some watered-down laws after intense lobbying by the accounting industry and the corporations that contribute heavily to both policital parties, the SEC will enact some watered-down regulations, a couple of really stupid criminal CEOs will do some minimal jail time in a Federal Pen/country club, and eventuall the next "new paradigm" will take hold of the market, everyone will be making money again, and all will be forgiven and forgotten.

2002-07-14T20:02:00.000-04:00

OK, that was a test to see if Enetation worked correctly. Looks like it did.

2002-07-14T16:38:00.000-04:00

07.14.2002.4:12 PM EDT

I mentioned the other day that I make Winamp skins. More on that whole thing.

There are literally, millions of them out there. From crappy ones that are turned out by skinning programs and which take all of 5 minutes to make, to some absolutely breathtaking ones, obviously the product of long hours of work and a lot of talent.

There is a lage and vibrant skinning community that expresses itself in the Forums on the winamp site. Unfortunatey, it tends to be rather elitist. It seems that skiiners fall more or less into three categories -- artists, craftsmen, and designers, And that's the order of their perceived worth in the Forums, as far as I can tell.

It's like this. A winamp skin is made up of a bunch of .bmp files. Certain areas of each bitmap are "sensitive" -- where control buttons and status information and things like that reside. So, after understanding the spec (the site has pretty good documentation for would-be skinners), one needs a decent image editing program (I use PhotoShop; a lot of people use Paint Ship Pro -- a few masochists use MS Paint). The possibilities are more or less endless. But it is tediious work, at times. (That's why skinning programs were created. They automate much of the tedious stuff and one can literally create a skin in a matter of minutes. Skins created by skinning programs ar universally reviled by the winamp skinning community and "generated" skins are routinely given short shrift by the winamp skin reviewing staff.)

Some people are capable of marvelous things . . . so the "elistist" arragnement I mentioned above is understandable, to an extent. It's just not very saisfying for those of us in the other categories. So I tend to stay away from the Forums, and do what pleases me, and leave the praise-whores to their own devices.

My skins are made from phtots, mainly. Picture skins are generally not well thought-of on the skinning forums, presumably becasue so many of them are created with skinning porgrams. Mine aren't . . . and even a not-so-careful look makes that obvious, once one has seen a few generated skins to compare against. I have a few skins that are on the Winamp site. They are frankly not great -- they are mostly early work, where I was really trying to get the process down and understand hoe to use PhotoShop. My better skins are posted on my own site, for two reasons: 1) I don't live for reviews, and won't get any decent ones form the winamp people anyway, and 2) most of these skins deal with BDSM-type themes, and the winamp site is theoretically limited to PG-rated material.

In the final analysis, the thing is that winamp skins seem to follow more or less established pop culture trends. I've seen absolutely amazing, beautifully done skins with a few thousand downloads, and a nondescript Britney Spears skin with well over a million. Hmmmmmmm . . . maybe the elitists are on to something, after all . . .

2002-07-14T11:34:00.000-04:00

07.14.2002 11:12 AM EDT

I've been reading a few blogs . . . blogs of note and most recent. And it strikes me -- a lot of bloggers seem to be from NYC. Is blogging a mainly urban thing? Common sense tells me there's no reason that should be. I most likely just happen to have landed on mainly NYC-based blogs in my non-scientific sampling.

One blog I really like is "A Mating Call in the Concrete Jungle." Edie Singleton writes very well, and has a good sense of humor. A lot of it is a bit hard to relate to for those of us with Y chromosomes, but I like her style. She made reference to something that struck me, as well -- which is the odd selections that seem to make it to the "blogs of note" section. But, I'm new at this, and perhaps I'm not getting it. Suffice to say that this blog will never be strange or personally humiliating enough to make it that hallowed category. That's cool. Although, as Edie suggested, perhaps the Blogger peolpe are susceptible to small bribes.

I've noticed also that many blogs are centered around love/relationships -- the search for it, the exeprience of it, the losing of it, and the aftermath. This is telling; Give people an unrestricted forum for their thoughts and the content will reflect the things that people most want to express. And perhaps becasue that part of our lives is so generally inscrutable/marvelous/frustrating/maddening/joyous/empowering/debiliatating/inspiring, it will tend to occupy our thoughts and thus lead us to pour that stuff out into our blogs. But does it help, I wonder? The jury's still out on that one . . . .

I jsut saw an ad for Hyundai. The music is from "Thick as a Brick," The Hyundai drives thourgh this little "European hamlet", and the townspeople joyously follow it through the town in a groing parade as the car lures them along, pied-piper like. Then, the car leaves town, continuing on its way .. the camera then shows the disappointed faces of the townspeople. It's an OK ad, I suppose, but I can't help mentally inserting the words when car ads use rock songs as background music .. . "and you make all your animal deals . . . and your wise men don't know how it feels . . to be thick . . . as a brick." Indeed. Grab that Hyundai.

The e-mail address is snowwleopard@hotmail.com (yes, two w's -- thats not a typo). Send me your comments, It would be nice to know that someone might have seen this.

2002-07-13T19:54:00.000-04:00

07.13.2002 7:18 PM EDT

A lull in the laundry . . .

I looked at a couple of the "blogs of note" and "recently posted" blogs. One I read was written by a loyal Bush supporter, complaining about the fact that people are wanting to take a closer look at the Harken Energy story. Not surprisingly, the blogger in question feels that Harken's a non-story, but we'll most likely never know for sure. What we do know is this: 1) Even though Bush campaigned for Governor of Texas partially on his record as a businessman, it's clear that he was perhaps the least successful oilman in the history of Texas. His main talent seems to have been for finding dry holes. 2) The SEC doesn't investigate you very carefully when your father is the President, and the chairman of the SEC is one of your dad's good buddies.

From what I've read about Harken, the impession I come away with is that Bush was too stupid to have realized that he broke the law. Which is fine, I guess. A recent Rhodes Scholar President had his own problems.

Another thing I've noticed, and I'm not sure why this is, but -- it seems to be an article of faith among conservatives that global warming is bunch of bunk, scientifically unsupportable, etc. On this one issue, more than any other, there is a unity of opinion and a stridency of tone among conversatives on the subject. Why should that be? OK, let's admit that scientists are not unified on this subject. The vast majority belive that global warming is real (say, 98%) but there is opinion both ways. But, why the intense resistance to even cutting back on greenhouse gases, just in case the global warming theory is correct? If it turns out 20 years from now that it was a big false alarm, fine, everybody buy a Hummer, burn coal in your fireplace, and generally have a huge fossil-fuel party. But might it not be a good idea to more aggressively cut back in the meantime?

Eventually, controlling global warming will become a recognized industry, and then all will be well. Conservatives hated recyclling, until a few large companies figured out that there was money in "waste management." And so it shall be with global warming . . . at a certain point, all the so-called "debunkings" of global warming will miraculously be forgotten and/or discredited, GE will get into the "Climate Management" business, and the Big Lie will be complete. . . . I can hear them now . . . . "Global warming is a serious problem. Global warming has always been a serious problem. We must stamp out global warming."

By then, of course, conservatives will have found another issue on which to train their quasi-religious fervor. Doubtless it will be one where 98% of the scientists are wrong, the PC pundits and the liberal press have everyone duped, etc., ad nauseum . . . please guys, save time and jsut haul out your old global warming articles and make the necessary minor changes.

2002-07-13T18:22:00.000-04:00

7.13.2002 6:09 PM EDT

So yesterday was in fact his last day. We went out for a couple of beers after work. This was something I wanted to do, but was also my good deed for the day, since he was actually going to stay late at work last night. That was too much for me to take -- steps needed to be taken. So . . . a quick subway ride uptown and there we are at some nondescrtipt bar . . . it's not even 6:00PM when we get there and already there's a group of drunks singing along to Neil Diamond on the jukebox. I hadn't been out to a bar on a Friday after work in so long I"d almost forgotten what it's like.

Anyway -- no e-mails yet. Has anyone actually read any of this? It's really cool that blogging is this new form of free expression blah blah blah . . . but the thought of advertising one's personal thoughts in some way is somehow way too self-absorbed. I actually might say something important here. Really. OK, well, maybe.

And a note to the virus bomber that keeps sending me (and lots of other people, apparently) viruses on a daily basis -- no, I still haven't fallen for the subject lines "picutres of my girllfriend" "a really funny joke" "very cool software" or "message undeliverable." And to the spammers, just so you know -- "make your cock 3 inches bigger" "hot college sluts want to talk to you" "my name's cindy and I just got a webcam" "make big money from home" "herbal viagara" and "lowest mortgage rates in a decade" aren't working either.

Let's see.. . . I think that covers it for now. Laundry is calling as only laundry can.

2002-07-11T20:31:00.000-04:00

07.11.2002 8:23 PM

I'm having a hard time fighting off the traffic to my website after last night's blog. Ummmm, not really. Which gets me to thinking about this whole thing -- who reads this? Is the minutae of people's lives interesting? In a way, I suppose it is -- there is, at base, a story there. And a story always has the power to draw us in, if the elements of it are at all compelling. It helps if the writing is good, obviously, as well.

Anyway . . . so the least I can do is keep telling the story of co-worker and his job situation. Which, for today, has no new developments. Tomorrow will be his last day. But, unlike most situations, I will keep in touch with him after we're not working together any more.

Watch this space . . . and, if you've seen this blog, send me an e-mail at snowwleopard@hotmail.com . . . someone is out there, I'm sure of it. OK, I'm reasonably sure of it.

2002-07-10T21:05:00.000-04:00

07.10.2002 8:53 PM EDT

Well, OK. My co-worker, it appears, will in fact be jobless after Friday. But there's a chance that he can hook on with another part of the project, out of the reach of the crazy client. That would be good. He told me tha he needs a "win" in his working life. Which, well, I still don't get (see last night's blog), but, if that will make him happy, that's cool.

I make Winamp skins in my spare time (of which I have very little these days, alas). Most of them are based on pictures that I've come acorss on the web. My Winamp skins are of course free . . . they're a labor of love (and besides, the concet of somebody paying for one escpaes me, given that thousands of very fine skins are available on the Winamp site and various other places). Anyway . . . after I make a skin, I e-mail the person in question, along with the finished skin, and ask if it's all right that I publish the skin on my site, explaining that it's not a commercial venture, etc. I do this becasue . . . I am out of my mind, perhaps? Actually . . . I figure that image theft of all kinds is so common on the web that I'll do my tiny little part in the opposite direction. How's that for a refreshingly naive attitude? oh, by the way . . . the skins can be found at www.snowleopards-skins.com but please, keep the kiddies away . . . most of these skins feature "adult content." And please, if ou're thinking of sending me e-mails with virus attachments, please don't bother. I get several every day . . . and any e-mail I get with an attachemnt that originates from someone I don't know, I delete without opening. And no, I don't use the preview window.

Anyway . . . I've only gotten two "no's." In one instance, I was able to talk to the person out of saying no, by making a modification to the skin, and in the other, the person's reason was so compelling and absolute that I couldn't really argue the point. So . . . there's one skin that no one will ever see. Which is an odd thing, becasue Winamp skins were made to be seen and used. But . . . in another, it's sort of cool that there's a skin that only me and this other person can ever use.

The larger question, of course, if why do I go trough al the trouble of making the skin BEFORE asking permission. These do take me some time (10 hours or more, typically), For that one I don't have a good answer, other than that they pretty much alway say "yes." More on skins and stuff next time.

2002-07-09T21:34:00.000-04:00

A strange day. A co-worker of mine (we are both consultants) was let go today . . . well, sort of, he thinks. Our client is crazy, and it wouldn't surprise me if this changes 10 more times between now and Friday (his theroetical last day).

In talking with him, what struck me was that he still thinks/exepcts that every new assignment is going to be the one that really makes him feel good about what he does, fulfilled, productive, etc. It made me think about people's varying attitudes about work. To me, a job is what pays the bills while you're waiting to win the lottery and tell them all to take a hike. I forget sometimes that other people are very heavily invested in their work, in highly personal ways.

LOL . . . I wonder who's the crazy one. . . . well, we'll see whether he really loses his job (I pray not) . . . and whether this assignment changes his attitude about work, or mine, or neither.